Things I wish I knew when I was younger.

When I was younger, I struggled with many inner battles. I felt different, like I never belonged anywhere or with anyone. Contrary to popular belief I had super low self-esteem and all the sadness and frustration that I was afraid to express turned into an “it's me against the world” mentality. 

So bad, that it got to a point where I completely stopped expressing myself to anyone because I was so afraid of the judgment. 

If someone had shared these simple tips with me when I was younger, I truly believe that my life would have been a lot easier. My hope is that anyone reading this will not have to go through what I did or will perhaps make going through it a tad easier.

1. Doing what you love will make you happy. Seems obvious right? But I don’t know if I was ever told simply to find what I love and do it. Instead I was told about the various routes I could take, and what would get me where. It is never too late to do what you love.

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2. All that pain, trauma and emotional clutter that's preventing you from loving and vulnerable relationships need to be cleared. You need to save yourself. You will do that for yourself, because no one else can save you from your healing. 

3. You need to give yourself permission to go the distance. Stop standing in your own way. Stop waiting for a sign. You have to permit you. You have determine your own value and YOU have to make demands for yourself.

4.You will stop taking people's sh*t. YES YOU WILL. You will learn that you cannot be happy while also being accommodating to everything anyone wants from you. 

5. You will learn that people who were supposed to be with you forever, won’t. And that's alright. That's how life works.

6. Everything is temporary. Sadness, happiness, bad luck, beauty,a slim body, high self esteem, low esteem, your ugly haircut... Only death is permanent and the only thing that is a sure thing. Remember that.

7. Nobody can make you feel bad about yourself unless you give them permission to do so. Don’t.

8. Stop people pleasing. Stop trying to appear perfect. You will breakdown in front of others, you will be sad, anxious, stressed ... you are a human not a robot.
9. You will learn to trust your mother. Your mother is almost always right. About everything. Love. Friendship. Health. Family. The big things. The little things. Seriously, she's been through it. Listen to her. 

10. Remember, you are not the only one going through these things. People's lives are not what they are portrayed to be like on social media networks. Do not let the Social Media Effect haunt you. You can read more about this here.

11. Kindness in the most unadulterated form is the best present you can give anyone; especially a stranger. But, kindness does not mean letting others step over you to cross a bridge, it's about letting them pass first.

12. Explore. When we were younger we would always want to explore and push our boundaries. We can lose this childish exploration, but it can be re-affirmed; explore everything that intrigues you. Experiment. Find your boundaries. Break them. 

13. Mistakes are a part of life. They are actually valuable, they build character and help us to grow and learn through experience.

14. Other people’s opinions don’t matter so much. I used to really feel the pressure of other people’s opinions and impressions. As I got older I learned that they belonged to the other person not to me, and that they were unavoidable anyway. Everyone will always have an opinion. 

15. Never to regret. Here I am, wondering how things could have been different. What’s done is done and it can never be changed, it can only be learned from.

Elle x